Obama Leaving White House to Head Up ACORN!
The President announced this morning that he will step down from the White House to head up a new “ACORN” (Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now). He plans to formally start the job in March, “after I get in a few more rounds of golf.”
“I’m leaving the White House now, but I’m not leaving the fight. I’ve decided to reconstitute ACORN at a time when the government dependence movement needs strong leadership,” he said in a statement. “No organization is better equipped to lead this fight and I believe my experience in the White House as well as a community organizer will help ACORN become even more effective than the Occupy Movement in the years to come.”
Obama had famously said in September “The most important lesson I’ve learned is you can’t change Washington from the inside. You can only change it from the outside.”
Obama later told Fox News that “Quite honestly, this Benghazi silliness will be the end of my Presidency, especially after Hillary testifies this week. I’m just trying to stay a step ahead.”
Obama has been an outspoken enabler in the White House for increased government dependence, most recently chiding House Republican leaders for not offering free “Obama Phones” to all food stamp recipients.
Obama’s departure means vice President Joe Biden will ascend to the Presidency. Interestingly, Republican Speaker of the House of Representatives John Boehner is next in line to assume the Office of Vice-President. Asked about the incongruity of a Republican Vice-President serving under Biden, Obama said, “look, the reality is that Vice President is largely a ceremonial position, like the Queen of England. If Speaker Boehner actually accepts the position, he’ll do less damage to our country then he can as Speaker of the House. Of course, if John declines the promotion, the next two folks in line are fine Democrats, Senator Daniel Inouye and, if Danny declines, Hillary Clinton. Either way, I’m quite certain we will take the White House again in 2016.”
One high-ranking White House source who asked to identified only as “JB” told Fox News the move was seen as a “total surprise.”
Senator Harry Reid (D- Nevada) said he’s “very disappointed” that his friend and colleague is resigning. “The Country’s loss is ACORN’s gain,” Graham told Fox News Radio, “but from a Democratic Party strategic viewpoint, the move is pure genius.”
Boehner, Inouye and Clinton were unavailable for immediate comment.
THIS IS A PARODY FOLKS!!
Related OBS posts (not parody but some sarcasm?)